Chapter 16: God's Great Love

"God's Great Love There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. We love Him because He first loved us."
('1 JOHN 4:18-19)

My experiences in heaven, with the Lord, help me to understand what he meant. God is love, and heaven is a place where love is the environment'it is the light and life of heaven.

The events preceding the Rapture of the church, however, will be terrifying and horrifying. Though the Lord had erased the memory of seeing my mother in hell, I still had a vague recollection of her being there and I felt great pain in my heart over my parents' eternal destiny.

After I became a Christian I prayed for my parents over and over again. I pled with the Lord, asking Him not to consign them to hell, and I reminded Him of how good they were. I cried and prayed so many times for them that I felt somewhat assured that the Lord would not put them in the pit. I even begged God to let me please Him for the rest of my life to make up for what my parents didn't do right.

My mother had been a good person indeed. She seemed very pure and innocent in many respects. I always thought that my mother never knew what being bad was. She had been ill for most of her life, and she had died when she was forty. Her last concern when she was dying was for me.

When my mother died, I felt that I wanted to die too. She was all the love I knew at that time. I actually hated my father because I knew he was with other women during my mother's illness.

Though it was customary for some men in the Orient to seek other women when their wives were ill, I remained deeply disturbed by my father's behavior. I knew that he was betraying his wife, and I felt her pain.

I carried hatred for my father for a long time, but when I became a Christian, I was able to forgive him, because I realized that he did not know the Lord. It is only the grace of God, I had to remind myself, that keeps any of us from sin.

I had often wondered whether I would see my mother after my own death. This thought recurred many times after she died when I was only fourteen.

HEAVEN IS LOVE

It was the Lord who bridged the gap between the love I should have received from my parents and the love I actually received. To me, He is pure love. He said to me, 'My daughter, you have been living for Me so long now, and you have been especially devoted to Me for the last few months. It all should be done soon. You need rest.'

'I will not be happy with anything on this earth, Lord, if You are not in it.'

After my mother died, I felt as if no one truly loved me. Certainly nothing ever felt like my mother's love had felt to me. I needed to be loved, but for the longest time it seemed as if there was no love in my world. After I was married and had children, I greatly enjoyed the family love we shared, but as wonderful as their love is to me, the love I had felt from my mother was still missing. It was as if there was an empty space within me that needed to be filled.

That vacuum was filled by the tremendous love of God. After I gave my heart to Jesus, I felt very secure in His love and it was easy for me to trust His love. I knew the truth of the hymn that says, 'No one ever cared for me like Jesus'no one ever cared for me like Him.'

When I would fall and hurt myself as a little girl, my mother would pick me up, love me and take care of my hurt. In the same way, when I would stumble as a young Christian, Jesus would pick me up and bring healing to all my hurts. This is what our Lord has been anointed to do.

The Bible describes the anointing that Jesus received: 'The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor. He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to preach the acceptable year of the Lord' (Luke 4:18-19).

Jesus had brought good news to me. He had healed my broken heart. He had set me free from my fears, my negative self-image, my insecurities. He had opened the eyes of my spirit, and He had lifted my oppression. Now He was proclaiming 'the acceptable year of the Lord' to me. That 'acceptable year' is right around the corner.

Even when people try to put me down or gossip about me, I feel secure in the love of Jesus. He is my safe place, my high tower, my Rock of refuge. When someone hurts me, intentionally or unintentionally, I am able to go to the Lord in prayer, and His peace and joy return to me. I know that God loves me. He will never let me down or leave me.

I love to reflect on the promises of God's Word. One of my favorites is found in the Psalms: 'Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth us with benefits, even the God of our salvation' (Ps. 68:19, kjv). His love for us is everlasting: 'Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you' (Jer. 31:3).

I know that nothing will ever separate me from the marvelous love of my God and King. 'For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord' (Rom. 8:38-39).

His perfect peace is always with me. 'You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You' (Is. 26:3). His Word is a treasure chest filled with good gifts that He desires to share with all His children, and these good gifts will be our daily portion in heaven.

"Notice what Paul wrote to the Ephesians: Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ; just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved."
(EPHESIANS 1:3-6)

God has already blessed us with every spiritual blessing in Christ. Even in this life we can enjoy the 'heavenly places in Christ.'

"In fact, Paul adds in the next chapter of his letter to the Ephesians: But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus."
(EPHESIANS 2:4-6)

We have already been raised up, spiritually, to sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus.

When the body of Christ truly understands this reality, everything will change. The world says, 'Seeing is believing,' but the Christian says, 'Believing is seeing.' The true reality is spiritual, not temporal. Most people think the only reality is found in what we can see, hear, taste, smell and feel. But the ultimate reality is the spiritual world.

There are four kinds of love'agape (the love of God), storge (the love of family), phileo (brotherly love) and eros (sexual love). Unfortunately, the world puts eros first and few ever find agape love. The world system works in reverse priority to God's system. God created us in His own image'He is a Trinity (Father, Son and Holy Spirit)'and we are tripartite as well (body, soul and spirit).

The Greek word pneuma is the word that has been translated 'spirit,' and this is the real part of us'it is the breath of life, the heart of hearts, the place where the Spirit of God seeks to reside. The Greek word for soul is psuche, and this part of us is the place where our intellect, emotions and will reside. It is here that many of our problems surface.

Last, the word soma is the physical part of us'the organs and systems of our bodies. Here again, the world has the order reversed. Whereas God wants us to put our spirits first, too many people give attention to their bodies first, their feelings second, and if there is any room left over, then their spirits. We forget that we are more than human beings on a spiritual journey; the fact is, we're spiritual beings on a human journey.

God has already blessed us with every spiritual, heavenly blessing in Christ Jesus, because He loves us with an everlasting love. When I began to realize these truths, I felt I wanted to give up every worldly thing in order to simply please the Lord for the rest of my earthly life.

Since that time I have been putting Him first in my life, far above any other person or thing. This is what He expects from each of us. His Word promises, 'But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you' (Matt. 6:33).

God, in His great mercy, has enabled me to find His kingdom, and He has taken care of all my needs. As a result I am able to obey His Word which says, 'Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things' (Matt. 6:34).

Worry, which used to be my constant companion, has been replaced by security, peace, trust and love. I don't care what people say about me, and I do not fear what might happen to me. My greatest joy is found in serving and pleasing the Lord. Just loving Him brings me incredible joy.

He loves me whether I do right or wrong. He has told me so many times, 'I want you to be happy, My daughter.' On this particular day'May 13, 1996'I knew great happiness and peace even as I watched the scenarios related to the End Times unfolding before my spiritual eyes in the form of a supernatural vision. The Lord reminded me, 'There are many special blessings coming to you.'

I couldn't imagine how there could be more blessings than I had already experienced. I knew the truth of the Word that declares, 'For the kingdom of God is not food and drink, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit' (Rom. 14:17). What more could anyone want? These blessings'and so many more'were mine already, in the here-and-now, and I knew they would continue forever in heaven.

The Lord said, 'I know you are tired, My daughter. I will take you back now.'

This morning was very intriguing to me. I had spent two and a half hours with the Lord, and then I prayed for another hour and a half. I felt as if I was already in heaven where God's love is the air we breathe.

SHUT IN WITH GOD

Since February 19, 1996, I have spent every waking moment with the Lord. My social life has been limited to worship services and basic grocery shopping for my family. The rest of the time is God's. The only folks who visit with us are our family members. The Lord has made it clear to me that this is how He wants me to spend my time'focusing on Him, His Word and His will. He is preparing me for the next phase of ministry.

Though it may seem that I'm a 'shut-in,' the reality is that my 'prayer closet' has become an open door to the kingdom of heaven. Instead of being shut in, I've been launched into higher dimensions of glory than I've ever known.

Often, when people call and plan to visit, they will call back and say that something has come up that prevents them from visiting. I believe this happens because God wants me to spend this time alone with Him so He can continue His work of preparation in my life. From the outset, He told me not to go anywhere for a while, especially out of town, until the book was completed. Really, even if I wanted to go somewhere, I couldn't because the anointing is so heavy. The anointing of the Lord keeps me on my knees in His presence.

Before Easter 1995 I had felt His anointing, but since that time, my body began shaking every time the anointing of the Lord's presence came upon me. Since January 1996 that anointing has been so strong that I cannot even control the shaking and other physical manifestations.

For example, as of this writing, I cannot even enter the room where Roger works on the computer because the Holy Spirit's presence is so strong there. Roger is implementing the corrections into the manuscript for the book. He took a week's vacation for this purpose, and I am so grateful for his help.

When I go near the computer room my body begins to jump for joy. This is a physical response that comes from the Lord, and I have no control over it. It is not something I am 'working up' on my own. In fact, it is more of a spiritual response than an emotional one.

Almighty God, my Father and my Lord, has spent so much of His time with me, and it is a privilege to give a little time back to Him. I enjoy every moment of my work for Him. It is not hard for me to do work for Him because I love Him more than I love my life. I believe the Psalmist's words: 'Your lovingkindness is better than life' (Ps. 63:3).

CONCERN IS WORRY

Throughout my life, as I've mentioned several times, I've been prone to worry. I guess you could call me a worrywart. It probably stems from the turmoil I experienced during my childhood. Whatever the reason, however, I often struggled with worry and fear and insecurity. I knew this was not God's will for me. In fact, the Lord had told me several times, 'Do not worry, My daughter.'

I began to look at my worrying somewhat differently, calling it concern instead of worry. Somehow, saying that I was 'concerned' rather than 'worried' made it seem OK. On May 20, 1996, I was with the Lord from 5:40 a.m. until 7:50 a.m. My body shook from 5:40 a.m. until 6:10 a.m., and my spiritual groaning lasted for thirty minutes. The Lord walked toward me and said, 'My precious daughter, Choo Nam, I must talk to you.'

His hand reached toward me, and immediately I saw my transformed body walking with Him on the beach. He seemed very happy, and I was really enjoying His presence. As we strolled along the strand I said, 'Lord I love You and miss You.'

He responded without hesitation, 'I love you, My daughter.'

The joy of the moment caused me to pick up the pace of my walking, and I actually got ahead of the Lord. He began laughing, and I did the same. We took our usual seats.

'I see you are working continually on My book.'

'Yes, Lord. Roger is working hard on it. My English is not that good, so he is correcting a lot of spelling errors and grammatical problems.

'I know you both are working hard.'

I knew the Lord knew all my thoughts, feelings and actions. I knew I could not hide anything from Him, and I did not want to conceal anything. He knew that I had been concerned about the book. I wondered how it would turn out, who would write it and who would publish it.

The Lord knew all this, so He said, 'Choo Nam, you are worrying about this book again even though I told you not to worry.'

'I'm not worried, just concerned,' I replied as I dropped my head in shame.

The Lord lifted my face in His hands and said, 'Daughter, you are embarrassed.'

I acknowledged the truth of His observation with a smile that turned into a chuckle. He began laughing in response, then said, 'Daughter, concern is worry. From now on, I do not want you to worry at all. This is My book; I will take care of it. Haven't I done so until now?'

'Oh, yes, Lord. I am so sorry. Please forgive me for not obeying You.'

He responded with joy. He seemed to take great pleasure in my honesty and humility. I knew He had forgiven me. Great peace came to my soul, and I felt free from worry that I had pretended to deny by saying it was just concern.

This day I learned another important lesson from the Lord'He wants us to be totally honest with Him, others and ourselves. We cannot use the world's methods to justify, rationalize or cover our sins. I knew that worry was a sin, and I had tried to pretend it was not there.

Even though it may seem to be a small thing to some, I knew it was very important to my Master. He did not want me to worry. In fact, He invites each of us: 'Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light' (Matt. 11:28-30).

The human way is to worry. God's way is to trust. 'God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble. Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you' (1 Pet. 5:5-7). Why should we choose to worry when our Father promises us so much?

The Lord seemed to want to erase my worry by showing me some of what He has prepared for me again. He said, 'I want you to see this again.'

The vision-voice came forth and, after a long time, the vision of the house He had shown me the last time appeared. The Lord did not show me the upstairs of the dwelling the last time He showed it to me, but this time I saw the four guest rooms and one prayer room on the second floor. I took particular notice of a picture that hung on one wall of the prayer room'it was a picture of the Lord himself. Though I couldn't see Him clearly, I sensed there was something particularly appealing and attractive about His portrait.

The vision took me into every room of the house'the home He promised to give to me and my family. The Lord asked, 'Do you like the house?'

'Yes, thank You, Lord. But I don't really need another house. All I want to do is to please You, do Your work, and see my family becoming more faithful to You.

'All the things You showed me are so beautiful, but they are worldly things, and they don't interest me any more. Roger feels the same, Lord.'

'My daughter, let Me decide what you want and need. I love the hearts of both of you. We must go now.'

After the first nine times we visited heaven, the Lord told me He was not going to wake me up anymore, and He fulfilled His promise. I woke up a few minutes before or after six'after I had a full night's sleep.

It was a time of pure peace and joy. There was no worry or concern. The Lord embraced me, then said, 'I will talk to you later.' I felt more completely relaxed than ever.

HEAVEN OR HELL?

Since that visit in May I've been praying for the future readers of this book. I'm praying for you, dear reader. I want God to prepare your heart to receive the truth of all I've experienced and written about. Heaven is so real, and I want you to believe in it more than you've ever dreamed possible. This is what God wants for you, because He loves you with an everlasting love.

The Lord took me to heaven so many different times so I could tell you how wonderful it will be for each of us who love Him and live for Him as completely as possible. He and I both want you to be able to go to the beautiful mansion He has prepared for you. The things the Lord has shown me and told me are true. They are thoroughly biblical. They are a reality that far exceeds our earthly experience. I know they are more real than things of this earth, and I want you to know this reality.

Before the Lord blessed me with so many revelations of heavenly truth, I sometimes had doubts that there was a heaven, even though I loved Him and believed Him with all my heart. I did not fully understand about heaven, and I know a lot of Christians are like this. Now I know it's all true. It's not even a matter of faith for me now; it's actual knowledge'the kind of knowledge that no one can take away. It is pure knowledge.

I used to be very afraid of dying and concerned about many things in my life, after I die; but after what I experienced in heaven, nothing in this world or my life matters to me anymore. I know where I am going to be after this life is over. I will be with Jesus forever in His paradise. There are no words to explain how perfect heaven is. All I felt there was pure joy.

After the trips to heaven I begged the Lord to take me home, but His disappointed voice said: 'I didn't show you the kingdom and the pit of hell to bring you home now. I showed you all those things so you will help save the lost and let everyone know what it takes to enter the kingdom.'

After He said this, I was embarrassed for being so selfish, and I asked Him for forgiveness. Now the only thing I can think about is serving Him to the last day. No matter what it takes, I will please Him.

As one of His special daughters, why would He hurt me by using my mother in this book if it wasn't important for His people to understand that just being good will not save them without knowing who Jesus is? Someone said to me, 'If He loves you, how can He use your mother to hurt you that way?' I was shocked by this ungodly question.

Though it was a very painful memory for me to see my mother and others in the pit, I had to realize that nothing can bring them out of there, so I accept the fact that they will be there for eternity simply because they did not know the Lord Jesus.

My Lord has a very special reason for using my mother in this book. If, through her, even one other mother can be saved, I would be very honored.

"No matter what difficult times may come into my life, I can never be angry with the Lord. If any of my loved ones die for my Lord, I will be very pleased for them. Then I will know for sure that their eternal life will be spent in heaven with Lord Jesus. As Jesus said: For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."
(JOHN 3:16)

I believe His second coming is so near that He is letting His people know how much He loves them and that He wants His church to be ready for Him.

God loves you, and this is the greatest truth in the entire world. That is why He has already prepared His kingdom for you. Even though He loves His children, He is angry toward those who do not believe. That is why He has commissioned me to write this book. He has told me many times that the salvation of souls is exceedingly important to Him. He is disturbed to think that some of His children would choose hell to be their eternal place rather than the beautiful glory He has prepared for them.

"After all, heaven is a choice. The Lord does not want anyone to end up in the pit of hell. If you believe, you will have eternal life with the Lord: 'The word is near you, even in your mouth and in your heart' (that is, the word of faith which we preach): that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made to salvation. For the Scripture says, 'Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame"
('ROMANS 10: 8'11)

If you do not believe, you will find yourself in the place of torment where my parents and countless others have to endure all eternity. It is a personal choice. It is God's way versus Satan's way. It is the kingdom of heaven versus the kingdom of darkness. It is life versus death. It is heaven versus hell. Which will win in your life? The choice is yours.

Every word in this book is true. The words of Jesus have been transcribed exactly as He said them to me. The Lord chose me for this work, and I have endeavored to be faithful to every word and experience. With God's help, and the assistance of Roger and the writer, I have tried to give accurate descriptions of each experience I've enjoyed.

Ultimately, however, I realize that the choice is yours. All I can do is tell you. Now that you've read these pages, you are accountable for the truth that has been imparted. What will you do with the truth I've shared?

Before I went to heaven, I wanted to save souls for the kingdom, but now I realize I must do all I can to rescue the perishing. I can never erase the memory of those naked bodies moving around in the fire and screaming in their misery. It will soon be over for each of us, and then it will be too late to make our decisions for Jesus and heaven.

I have a burning desire to see the lost saved, to keep them from going to the terrible place the Lord revealed to me. My deepest desire is for everyone to find his name on a mansion door in heaven.

The Book of Revelation describes two types of people. I have seen the same things the apostle John saw. John describes the eternal destiny of the first, unfortunate group as follows: 'And the smoke of their torment ascends forever and ever; and they have no rest day or night' (Rev. 14:11). The second group, on the other hand, is described this way: 'Here is the patience of the saints; here are those who keep the commandments of God and the faith of Jesus...Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on...that they may rest from their labors, and their works follow them' (Rev. 14:12-13).

Is your name written in the Lamb's Book of Life?