Chapter 25: Focusing On The Lord First

"Focusing on the Lord First Then David danced before the Lord with all his might."
('2 SAMUEL 6:14)

As I danced in the Spirit during church services on June 4, 2000, I expected a big surprise from my Lord, but nothing out of the ordinary happened. Nonetheless, I was very happy in church instead of feeling discouraged like I had on other such occasions.

In fact, I had been discouraged so many times before with my dancing because I had expected miracles for the church. When the miracles did not take place I would complain about it to the Lord. In May 2000, however, I promised the Lord that no matter what, I would never complain about my dancing ever again.

After I left the church services on this day in June, I began to be discouraged again. When I came home, I began to pray as I usually do after church. This time, though, I felt worse. In spite of my feelings, however, I prayed. While talking to the Lord, I was holding my feelings back. I knew the Lord knew how I felt, but He seemed to be ignoring my feelings.

I believe He was waiting to see if I could keep the promise I made to Him the last time. We proceeded to talk about the usual things and He released me. After I was released, I felt worse than ever, so I rebuked the enemy. Even this didn't help, however, and this meant that my feelings weren't coming from the devil.

A few hours later, during my prayer time, I sat down and tried to pray, but I didn't want to pray for His promises this time. (Usually I pray four times a day at approximately the same times.) I told the Lord I didn't want to pray for the promises this time. It was the first time I had ever refused the Lord anything, but His response was simple and direct: 'You must obey.'

Though I understood His message, my mind was too disturbed to comply, and my resulting attempt at prayer was insincere. I said to the Lord, 'I don't want any of Your gifts of work because they cause me to sin against You. I didn't ask for any of these gifts You offered to me. All I want to do for the rest of my life is worship You, please You and make You happy.

'All Your promises caused me to sin against You, because I expect too much and my desire is for all the brothers and sisters to be blessed by this dance. I cannot focus on You while I am worshiping You ever since I had to do this dance.

'During each and every dance I am concerned about miracles happening to the church. I want so much for this church body to be blessed by this dance, and most times I've even forgotten to praise You.'

After all these words, new thoughts came to me. Remember, though, I was talking with my heart, not with my mouth. When I am in the Lord's presence, I cannot talk with my mouth. Suddenly I realized how many wrong things I had been doing for so long. Also, I had complained so many times about my discouragement. Upon these realizations, I began to humble myself before the Lord and ask for His forgiveness.

He softly replied, 'I have forgotten all that, sweetheart.' Then the Lord began to talk to me. He said: 'I have been saying to you that you must focus on your Lord first, then your work. You haven't been doing that. During every dance you are concerned about miracles for the people and you are forgetting your Lord's glory. This dance I created for My pleasure, not for you to be worrying about miracles.

'When I am pleased, then the miracles will happen. They are My miracles, not yours. You must never forget how important this dance is to your Lord.'

After He said these things, I felt so embarrassed. I realized then how much this dance means to my Lord. Just the hand practice alone had taken sixteen months, and all the other practice and the building up of the Holy Spirit's power in my body had taken almost three years before I even began dancing in the church.

DANCING ON THE BEACH

In preceding chapters I've mentioned some of our beach days. Every Monday morning the Lord wakes me up, after 12 a.m., and He shakes my body for exactly thirty minutes. He is never one minute late or early. If I fall asleep for even five minutes, the shaking has to start over again.

After thirty minutes of shaking, the Lord's presence appears to me, and He tells me, 'Daughter, we must go to the beach.' The minute He says this, my body shakes harder and an even stronger anointing comes, then I can see my transformed body walking with the Lord Jesus on the beach, and we are holding hands. We walk on the beach on the edge of the sand for a while, then we go up the hill and sit on a long, huge rock. This beach and rock were the ones He used for the revelation of heaven.

When we get there, the minute we sit, I put my right arm under His arm, and then the Lord tells me, 'You must see the water.' When He says these words, I can see the water on the beach in front of us.

The same scenario was played out during my visit with Him after He had explained many things about my dancing and its true purpose. After we talked for a while, He said, 'You must sing.' Then I sang. After I sang, we talked for a while, and He said, 'Now you must dance.' Instantly, I knelt before the Lord and began to sing and dance.

The Lord always sits before me with His legs crossed while I do this dance. I cannot see His face, but I know when He is either happy or sad. With this dance, He always looks happy, and I can tell He is smiling. I continually smile at Him the whole time while I am dancing.

Each time I am with the Lord on the beach, I feel the same as I did when He took me to heaven. At such times I am completely focused on the Lord. I can't think of anything else. There are no words to express the joy I have when I am with Him. How I wish such times of sweet communion could last forever.

Each time I am with Him on the beach I tell the Lord I don't want it to end. This Monday morning dance lasts for more than forty minutes each time. After the dancing is finished, the Lord pays so many wonderful compliments to me that I always feel very embarrassed, because what He says seems too good to be true.

After these moments of appreciation, He says, 'You must see this!' Then I begin to sing again, and I see the whole ocean for a while. Soon the scene changes to the whole world. After this, we talk again, and He says, 'I must take you back, so you can sleep.' With each word He says, our bodies move as if they were figures in a video.

All this takes between two and two and a half hours. At the end of our time together, the Lord always gives me a big hug, then I see Him walking on the edge of the water. I am always able to see His back clearly while He is walking.

Everything that happens on the beach involves my transformed body. My real body is lying on the bed, participating in the dance and singing. Remember, the Lord uses my spirit-body, but all thinking and feeling happens in my physical body. This means that Jesus' spiritual body and my spiritual body are together. If I had pain in my body before the visit, most of the time it is all healed after these visits with my Lord on the beach.

I want to explain everything about these experiences as clearly as I can, so when children read it, they will understand it fully. Children have a wonderful capacity to understand why this book is so very important to the Lord, because they are innocent, trusting and open to God.

It was on Monday, May 27, 1996, when the Lord took me to this beach and told me, 'I will bring you to this beach every Monday.' Until now, He has never missed once. He said this will continue to happen until the last day.

I have finally realized that my faith had been weak, and that is why I had been so discouraged and had complained to almighty God. Since the dawn of that realization, during each and every dance, I seek only the Lord's face and never concern myself about anything or anyone else when I am dancing.

I had only complained about the dance, because I had thought with every dance great healings and deliverance would happen to the church. I had thought this because He had shown me many wheelchairs in the church. Our Lord God never explains details, however; His words are very brief and to the point.

GREAT TESTS

The Lord began to test me in every area of my life. The biggest test of all concerned my loved ones. I also believe that my complaining about the dance had caused Him to delay the fulfillment of His promises. Surely the Lord could've told me what I was doing wrong or right, but He wants me to learn my own way. His preparations in my life for the work He has called me to do have not been easy.

I've learned that He does not want us to have anything the easy way. His Word tells us that we must go through tribulation to enter His kingdom (see Acts 14:22).

DANCING ON THE PLATFORM

On June 17, 2000, after my bedtime prayer and at the end of our talk, the Lord said, 'You must hear what I say about the dance.'

I replied: 'Whatever you say, Lord. I will expect and receive it.'

He said, 'You must dance on the platform tomorrow morning. You must go to church early and talk to the pastor and tell him you are going on the platform to dance.'

When I heard this, my heart dropped, because this is one thing I didn't want to do until miracles began to happen with my dance. Nonetheless, I told Him, 'I will obey You, Lord.'

My heart was very disturbed about this, because I have been doing the same dance every Sunday, facing toward the congregation, since January 9, 2000. I had already heard from one of the pastors that church members were asking why I didn't turn toward the worshipers. I told him that I have to obey the Lord. It is not because I want to do this. My greatest concern has been that I would not disturb the worshipers, but I go against the Lord about such matters. My only response must always be that I would obey Him.

About three months ago, I thought, What if the Lord wants me to go to the platform to dance? So I talked to the senior pastor, Pastor Wolfson, and asked him if I could dance anywhere, even on the platform.

The pastor told me that I could dance anywhere, even on the platform. After he said this, I thought it wouldn't be a problem for me to dance on the platform if the Lord so directed me.

When I got up on the morning of the 18th, I felt happy to be doing whatever the Lord asked me to do. I went to church early that morning, but I couldn't find Pastor Wolfson. While looking for him, I ran into the other pastor, and I told him what the Lord had said to me about dancing on the platform.

This pastor said, 'It's out of the question.'

I then said to him, 'Pastor, you are putting people before God's Word. The Lord has asked me to dance on the platform for the church's blessing.'

Then the Lord said to me, 'Do not be concerned about this; I will take care of it.'

While I was praying before the dance began, my heart was saying, in spite of the pastor's refusal, I intend to go up to the platform and dance, because I must obey the Lord, and I don't care if I am thrown out of the church. If there isn't enough room in front, I will go behind the worshipers, if the Holy Spirit takes me there. Whatever the results, I didn't want to disobey the Lord.

The Lord always knows my thoughts. His pleasantly reassuring voice said: 'Daughter, you do not have to go to the platform until such time as I am ready for you. I am very pleased with your obedience. Be happy. Whenever you go there, you will stand at the very front, never standing in back of the worshipers. The whole platform is yours.'

The Lord knew how much I didn't want to stand on platform to dance with the worship team. I believe He wanted to make sure how far I would go to obey Him, to please Him and to put Him first. I obeyed Him, and everything turned out all right.

ATTENDING CHURCH FOR THE RIGHT REASONS

After the new Puget Sound Christian Center (the church we had been attending previously) was built, they had to wait for an offering to cover expenses for the carpeting. It occurred to me that Roger and I could help pay for the carpets, so I asked the Lord about it.

In a somewhat unpleasant voice, He said, 'My daughter, you must not be concerned about it. I don't look for carpet in My house; I only look for the church's heart.

'Most churches are trying to spend so much money for the church's beauty, but not many of them are trying to please Me. I want every church to train the people for preaching the gospel and sending them out to the mission field.'

At the same time He also expressed His displeasure about people who come to church without focusing on Him first. On this particular morning, while I was praying for thirty minutes before the worship began, I noticed that I could hear people talking loudly and laughing; many were sharing their whole week's experiences with each other.

The Lord spoke to me: 'You see, My daughter, instead of bowing and praying before Me, they would rather talk about worldly things. You can see why some churches are never blessed.'