Chapter 8: Preparation For Service

Preparation for Service I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Romans 12:1-2 My supernatural experiences were both wonderfully exhilarating and somewhat exhausting, and the Lord recognized the toll they were taking on my body and health. The shaking that my body had to endure was part of my preparation for service. This physical manifestation of God's supernatural work in my life, as well as the deep groanings that emanated from my spirit, were having an effect on my body.

After my body quivers so intensely for a period of two or three hours, I am left reeling. My mind feels as if it is spinning, and I get very dizzy. Sometimes this sensation is so strong that I am hardly able to walk.

The strength of the Lord's anointing in my life kept me from eating very much for periods of several days at a time. The sleep deprivation and lack of food caused me to feel weak and emaciated. In fact, I had already lost five pounds. I frequently felt nauseated, and I often experienced pain in my stomach and joints. Before leaving each day, however, the Lord would heal me of my pains.

He would embrace me, and a single touch from His hand would lift the anguish and cause the shaking to stop. He would usually say tender words of concern and caring that helped me know that He truly understood how tired I was. It is so wonderful to know that He cares about everything that concerns His children'our aches and pains, our worries, our tiredness, our hopes and dreams.

"The writer of the book of Hebrews explains how this is possible: Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
(HEBREWS 4:14-16)

Jesus wept. He knew the pain of loneliness and rejection. He faced temptation. He wrestled with the will of God. He experienced anger and fear. No matter what we face, He has been there. More importantly, our great High Priest is right there with us. He is praying for us. He is bearing our burdens. Jesus truly understands.

He knew that many things had to be healed in my inner life before I could be effectively used in the ministry He has called me to. He had already explained to me that He repeated things so many times so that I would truly understand. He took me to some of the same heavenly places more than once so that I could fully experience their reality'and remember them. He had emphasized that the reason why my body shook so forcibly every time I was in His presence was because He was pouring His power into me.

In short, therefore, I was being prepared for a worldwide ministry of evangelism and healing that would begin with the book you now hold in your hands.

THE BIG, BLACK BIBLE

On March 5 the Lord kept me awake from 1:50 a.m. to 4:20 a.m. In the process, my body shook for about twenty-five minutes. Then the Lord took me to the beach in preparation for the next journey to heaven.

We revisited the white building and the powder room. We both changed into our heavenly robes and crowns. Then we went to the throne room where the Lord took His seat and directed me to sit in a chair next to Him. There were several men in front of us who were wearing crowns similar to my own.

'Who are these men?' I asked.

The Lord replied, 'They are the ones who wrote My Word.'

I looked at each glowing face and I tried to guess who each one was. Sitting in front of me were the apostles John, Matthew, Luke, Mark, James, Peter and Paul. The prophets were there as well'men such as Isaiah, Jeremiah, Joel, Micah, Malachi, Daniel, Obadiah, Hosea and many others.

I thought, Moses and Joshua must be in the crowd as well; and Nehemiah, Job, David, Solomon, Ezekiel, Nahum, Jonah and Zechariah. I wish I had time to talk with each one. I'd ask Jonah what it was like to be in the belly of the great fish. I'd want Daniel to tell me how it felt to be in the lion's den. I'd love to hear David describe his experience with Goliath.

Then it dawned on me: One day, in the near future, I would take up the heavenly abode Jesus had shown me, and I would be able to have lasting fellowship with the saints of all ages! Then I could ask them. Then I would find out. Then I would know. Won't it be wonderful?

Paul wrote: 'For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known' (1 Cor. 13:12). It was still beyond my comprehension how I had been chosen to receive so much in advance of the great day of the Lord when we shall know, even as we are known, but I did understand that I had been granted an incredibly special grace to see so many things. I knew that this special privilege was not for me alone. I knew it was for everybody, so that as many as would be willing to do so would believe and be saved.

The huge black Bible I had seen on a previous visit was directly in front of me. It radiated with the power of the Holy Spirit who spoke to my heart: 'All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work' (2 Tim. 3:16-17).

I noticed that the writers who were inspired to write the Bible had notebooks in their hands, and then I realized that the Lord was showing this scene to me for the second time so that I would fully understand the importance of His Word in my life. I knew He wanted me to read and study and take notes as I focused on His Word.

My Lord and Master wanted me to 'take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit' (Eph. 6:17-18). The enormity of the Bible in front of me served to remind me that the Bible should grow ever bigger in my life'that it should be the foundation on which my ministry would be built and launched.

A TRANSFORMED BODY

An angel escorted me back to the changing room where I could see my reflection in the huge, clear mirrors. I had been transformed! My new body was that of my teenage years. I was young, beautiful and vibrant. Each time I saw the transformation I was shocked! But it was a reminder that when I get to heaven I will have a new body.

Our new, heavenly bodies will not grow old. They will be incapable of pain. There will be no wrinkles in our faces. Our teeth will be white and even. No gray will be found in our hair. The radiance of youth will glow from our eyes. Our posture will be straight and even. Any handicaps we experienced on earth will vanish. We will be completely new in every respect, and it will be wonderful!

THE LIVING, FLOWING WATERS

We changed, then walked across the golden bridge, through a verdant valley. We followed a beautiful road that was bordered by a golden fence with many gates. Along the way I noticed the now-familiar fruit trees and picturesque yellow flowers. Beautiful rocks were strewn across the fields and the fast-flowing, clear-as-crystal river was nearby.

'That water is living water,' the Lord pointed out. It was the second time I had seen this magnificent river. The time before, I had even tasted its sweet, pure water.

I noticed that the river of life was narrow, but it did not seem to have any end. As we walked toward the nearest gate, the Lord asked me if I wanted to drink from the river of life again but I shook my head because I did not want to impose on His gracious kindness to me, and I was eager to see the next sight, which I hoped was my mansion'the one He had already prepared for me.

We headed in the direction of my palace, and when we arrived there, we entered. The Lord sat in the same chair He had taken on the previous visit and seemed eager for me to explore my future dwelling.

I went into the same rooms I had visited before, and I imagined what it would be like for me to live there. The silver bedroom set with beautiful stones and the beautiful powder room, the beautiful draperies and carpets, the glistening walls'all reminders of what Jesus had done for me.

He was showing me these things again so that they would stick in my memory'so that I would truly believe. I was filled with even more wonder and anticipation than I had experienced on the previous visit.

We left my mansion and went back to the white building where we changed our garments once more. Then we went to the placid pond where the Lord took His usual place on the solid rock.

He sat, but I could not contain myself. I began to dance and sing with the greatest, fullest joy I had ever known. From my heavenly vantage point, I could see that my physical body, still lying on my bed, was moving and my hands were waving. The Lord seemed so pleased with me, and He beckoned for me to come and sit next to Him.

WHOLENESS AND HEALING

I knew that the Lord still had much to do in my life before I would be ready to fulfill the calling He had imparted to me. Things from my past caused me to feel inferior and unworthy. He seemed focused on helping me gain confidence, first in Him and then in myself.

'My daughter, I have shown you the important parts of the kingdom of God, and I want you to tell everyone what you have seen. I know I have shown you many things today that I showed you before. When you do the work I've called you to do many souls will be saved. The book will be read all over the world.'

'But, Lord, I am nobody. Why did you choose me? Why not someone who is famous already?'

'Choo Nam, I created you for this End-Time work. I will make you famous. I know you are learning what I teach you. I know you will be faithful to Me.'

'Who will write the book?' I queried. 'I try to write down everything you say and to describe the things you show me, but I don't really know how to write a book.' (The fact was, I felt very intimidated by the whole idea!) 'Lord, I don't have enough education to write a book.'

'You do not need to know how to write the book. Just write down what I show you and tell you, and a writer will write the book for you. Daughter, do not worry. I will guide someone in rewriting what you have put down. A Spirit-filled writer will do this work for you.'

This new bit of information eased my mind. Ever so slowly, and step by step, I was learning to lean on the Lord instead of my own understanding. A passage came to my mind: 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths' (Prov. 3:5-6).

My problem was not in trusting the Lord. He had already proven His faithfulness to me in so many extraordinary ways. My problem was in trusting myself. Since my childhood I had always been afraid to step out, to take the lead'and now I was being called to write a book and launch a worldwide ministry! Actually, I was frightened.

The Lord then interjected a new thought by saying: 'You will have great wealth, and I want you to use it to build a church for Me.'

'But I cannot preach, Lord.'

'You will not have to preach.'

The groaning deep in my spirit began to emerge, and I knew a special anointing was upon me. Then something more vivid than a natural scene appeared before me.

It was a vision of a church'a white-frame church building with a very high steeple. The entry doors were beautiful double doors. The sanctuary was adorned with deep-red chairs and carpeting. I could see that many activities and functions were taking place in wings to the side.

The sanctuary was filled with people, and I noticed that some of them entered the church in wheelchairs, but they left walking. There was marvelous joy on their faces because they had been completely healed. Just seeing this vision was bringing healing to my hurts and fears as well. Like them, God wanted me to be whole, and He was equipping me for the ministry to which I had been called.

'Do you like what you are seeing?' the Lord asked.

I radiated a smile back at Him and responded, 'Yes!' I was more excited than I had ever been in my life.

Then He repeated something that was vitally important to Him, 'Before I come for My people, half of the unbelievers will be saved.'

'When will you come for us?' I asked again, hoping for a more precise, definitive response.

'I told you it will be soon. Didn't you see that everything is already prepared for everyone here?'

That, I then knew, was precisely why the Lord had taken me to heaven so many times'so that I would see that He had almost completed His work. The time of His return is truly at hand. This is the burning message that must be told. This is the theme of my book and my life.

Jesus wants everyone to know that the end is coming. He has already prepared an eternal home for all who believe in Him. It is no longer accurate to say that He is preparing a place for us because the place is already prepared!

Isn't it thrilling to know that half of the unbelievers in the world will be saved before the Lord returns in the very near future? Many millions of people will be ushered into the church of Jesus Christ, and the church had better be prepared for them.

I can't wait to start building the church of my vision. I have embraced the vision God gave me, and I am beginning to run with it. My confidence is building, and all of my inner insecurities, worries and fears are being absorbed by the love of God. I know, beyond all shadow of doubt, that God's love is everlasting, His kingdom is real and He will keep His Word.

Through the experiences I'd had in heaven, I was learning that God enables those He calls. He fills in the empty places and provides strength in our weakness. Like the handicapped people I'd seen in the vision of the church, we're all limited or handicapped in one way or another.

But God is able to give new strength to the legs of the lame, and as He heals our handicaps, we are able to walk in newness of life'in the strength and power of His Holy Spirit. On that early March morning I learned an all-encompassing truth anew: 'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me' (Phil. 4:13).

A NEEDED REST

For one and a half months the Lord had been waking me from my sleep in the early hours of many mornings to take me to heaven so He could prepare me for the work He had called me to do. I was tired, and my body was weak. Recognizing my need for more sleep, the Lord said, 'This is the last time I will bring you to the kingdom, and I will not wake you up any more.'

My heart sank as I thought that His wonderful visits would be over. But He continued, 'My daughter, I have shown you enough for a while.'

I began to cry. My heart was filled with sadness. I wanted to be with the Lord forever. I protested, 'Lord, I don't want to leave You.'

'I will be with you everywhere. You will see Me and hear My voice.'

He then reached over and embraced me as He said, 'Choo Nam, I know you need rest.'

I acknowledged my need for rest, but my desire to be with the Lord overtook my physical needs. I saw my spiritual needs as being vastly more important than my physical needs. We left the pond and went back to the white building to change into our regular robes. Then we were transported back to the beach where we sat and conversed for a little while.

'I know how tired you are right now, so I will not be waking you from your sleep. You must rest for a while.'

A sense of dejection threatened to overwhelm me as the Lord spoke these words I did not wish to hear, but then He clarified what He was saying, 'I will take you back to the kingdom again, but now you need your rest.'

Even with this reassurance, I could not stop crying. Truly, I was devastated by the thought that Jesus was leaving, and that He might stay away for a long time. I love Him so much, and the thought of His departure left me feeling very empty and somewhat insecure.

I imagined what it must have been like for the original disciples who had to say goodbye to their Lord and Master. How must His mother, Mary, have felt when she saw Him crucified, dead and buried? How did she feel when He ascended into heaven? It was the loneliest feeling in the world.

By this time every waking moment of my life was filled with thoughts of Jesus and heaven. I had been in the Lord's company daily for more than one and a half months. I had been to heaven and had seen the streets of gold, the mansions over the hilltop, the River of Life. In fact, I had tasted the sweet water of life.

I had been escorted by angels and had fellowshiped and worshiped with the saints, martyrs, apostles and prophets. I had walked into the eternal dwelling Jesus had already prepared for me. I knew I could never be the same again. Nothing in this world could compare with heaven'my true home.

I had seen the pit of hell'that raging inferno of violence, corruption and shame. I had seen the signs of the End Times unfurl before me like a living video of what is yet to come. Most importantly, I had been with Jesus'and all of life had taken on an entirely new meaning.

I had a purpose, a mission, a calling. I had seen a vision of some of the things God has planned for me. To think that I would be spending time sleeping when there was so much to do seemed entirely incomprehensible to me. I was really disappointed.

The Lord departed from the beach, as did my transformed body, and the shaking of my body stopped. My crying ceased as I realized what He had said, 'I will take you back to the kingdom again.' That was enough. It would be OK.

Then it occurred to me that the rest He was wanting me to take was a part of the preparation He was doing in my life. I certainly knew I needed the rest, because there were times when I felt disoriented.

A lovely passage of Scripture came to my mind and settled me down: 'The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul' (Ps. 23:1-3).

The Lord, my Shepherd, was permitting me to lie down in the green pastures so my soul could be restored'further preparation for the ministry that lies ahead!

'EVERYBODY WILL KNOW YOU'

The next morning, March 6, was difficult because I woke up at 2:30 a.m., half expecting the Lord to be there. I had believed what He had told me, but a part of me still wondered if He would come. I waited for Him from 2:30 until 6:30, then I fell back to sleep. When I awoke again at 9:30 in the morning, I realized the Lord was not there. I missed Him, and I began to weep.

Soon my whole body began to shake, accompanied by the anointing of heat. I groaned in the spirit for more than fifteen minutes. Then, as had happened so many times before, the Lord appeared. He was sitting by the window next to the bed.

He said: 'My precious daughter, Choo Nam, I told you I will be with you always. You are going to see Me anytime you want, and you will hear My voice. I am visiting you now because I know you waited for Me all morning long.'

'Lord,' I said, 'I want to do everything You tell me. I still feel I do not know anything.'

'That is precisely why I chose you. Never forget that I will take care of you. I have given you this special gift because no one knows you. Soon, however, everyone will know you.

I found it hard to accept those words. Everyone will know me? It seemed so unlikely, but the Lord, in His mercy and patience saw fit to visit me again to give me this reassuring message. He concluded His visit by saying, 'Daughter, I want you to rest.' Then He left and my shaking body quieted down.

"For the next ten days I enjoyed the soundest sleep and quietest rest I had ever known. Once again, the Lord was faithful to His promise: There remains therefore a rest for the people of God. For he who has entered His rest has himself also ceased from his works as God did from His. Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest, lest anyone fall after the same example of disobedience. For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account."
(HEBREWS 4:9-13)

The Lord wanted me to rest because He was preparing me for a ministry that would usher countless unbelievers into the kingdom of God. Knowing that He was coming back to escort me to heaven again brought such peace to my soul that I was able to truly enjoy His rest.

I was finally beginning to understand that the book I was to write, the church I was to build, the ministry I was to begin were His work, not mine. This restored my soul, erased my anxieties and brought total trust to my heart.

The truth communicated by the psalmist so many centuries ago echoed deep within me: 'Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it' (Ps. 127:1).

Jesus reminded me of His great invitation to the weary and downtrodden, from Matthew 11:28-30: 'Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.'