Chapter 9: Worry Is A Sin

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
(PHILIPPIANS 4:6-7)

After ten days of rest, with good, sound sleep every night, I knew I was ready to meet the Lord again and to go with Him to heaven. The Ides of March'March 15, 1996'had arrived, but they were not something to beware; indeed, they provided me with the moment I had been eagerly awaiting since the Lord's departure nearly two weeks before.

From 6:40 a.m. to 8:40 a.m., I enjoyed the Lord's visit and another journey to heaven. As usual, before His arrival my body shook, and I groaned for thirty minutes. Then the Lord appeared before me and said: 'My daughter, I see you are rested now. We have a lot of work to do yet.'

The Lord of heaven and earth was concerned about me, His daughter and handmaiden. He made sure I had caught up on my rest before He returned to take me with Him. He understands the limitations of my body and soul, and He truly cares about me. He knows everything that is good for His children, and He will withhold no good thing from those who love Him.

After the last two times I had gone to heaven my body had felt as if it were out of control. I was very tired from the shaking, and I found myself feeling dizzy much of the time. I had slept only three hours a night for a period of two weeks. It was impossible for me to sleep during the day because the anointing of the Holy Spirit was so strong upon me.

Little by little, I was learning how to manage the situation by going to bed earlier in the evening to ensure I would have sufficient sleep before the Lord arrived. On this morning, the Lord took my transformed body to the beach where we walked by the seaside for a while before He took me to heaven. My heart was filled with great joy and anticipation as we flew away.

We arrived at the usual location and entered the white building. By now, I was getting used to the setting and the procedures we normally followed. We changed into our heavenly clothing, and then the Lord took my hand as He led me down a wide road that coursed its way up an exceedingly high mountain.

It was very much like the Cascade Mountains that I'd visited in the northwestern part of the United States, and I remarked that heaven looked, in many ways, like earth'but it was far more beautiful than anything I'd ever seen on this planet.

There were many leafy trees and bushes on the mountainside. From the summit I could see a beach. It was a rocky coastline, much like the pictures I'd seen of Bar Harbor, Maine. Everything glowed with a whiteness that was stunningly brilliant and pure. We descended the mountain and walked on the sand between the rocks. It was the whitest, cleanest sand I'd ever seen, and the beach was absolutely the most beautiful I'd ever seen.

Some of the rocks nearby were so huge that I could not see their tops. As we walked around one of them, I noticed a large group of people wearing white robes. Each person was distinctly different from the other in appearance, and many children could be seen playing in the sand. Some children were holding the hands of grown-ups, and everyone was walking around in a playful, happy manner. It was wonderful to see a place of such brightness and joy.

The Lord and I sat on one of the big rocks for quite a while, simply enjoying the vibrant beauty all around us. He turned to me and said: 'I have made so many of the things here similar to the things on earth so that My children can enjoy them when they come to My kingdom, but there are many things that are not the same as things on earth. I have so many exciting surprises for My children.'

He sounded so happy'like a parent who has provided as many gifts as possible for his children to open on Christmas Day. The Lord seemed to want His children to be happy'like the ones who were playing so joyfully in the sand. This is why He created heaven to be such a wonderful place. It will be the home for His children forever and ever.

'Do you like what I am showing you, Choo Nam?'

'Yes, Lord. I've seen many beaches on earth, but none of them can compare with this beach.'

I could sense that my response greatly pleased my Master. Soon thereafter we left the beach and returned to the white building. We changed into regal robes and crowns, and the Lord took me to the pond where we usually end each visit to heaven. The Lord sat on His favorite rock while I joyfully sang and danced with my transformed body. Meanwhile, the hands of my earthly body were moving in rhythm to the heavenly music.

'I still have many things to show you, My daughter,' the Lord said as I moved closer to Him. 'You must be patient.'

This was good news to me because I knew He meant that I would get to go to heaven with Him many more times. My heart soared with delight and rejoicing as I danced in this wonderful place of joy near the peaceful pond. I was in the presence of the Lord, in the place He had prepared for me, and I knew I had to be the happiest person who had ever lived.

'STOP WORRYING!'

Tears of utter joy flowed freely down my face as I said, 'Thank You, Lord, for bringing me to heaven with You again.'

'My daughter, I notice that you worry about everything I ask you to do. I have told you many times not to worry, daughter, and you are not obeying Me in this.'

'Lord, I'm sorry. It's just that I can't seem to stop worrying. All I want to do is the work You've called me to do for You. I want to do it the way You tell me to, and all this causes me to worry.'

'I don't want you to be concerned about anything from now on,' He directed. 'I am going to take care of everything for you. Watch out for some people, because they will give you wrong advice. That is why, while you are writing the book, I do not want you to leave town, and I don't want anyone else to come to your house, except your family.'

The Lord was more explicit with His instructions than He'd ever been before. I listened intently as He went on.

'Did you notice that no one has come to visit you since I took you to heaven?'

'Well, yes. It seems that every time I invited someone to come or made arrangements for company, something always happened to change their plans.'

'Now you know why, My daughter. I want you to concentrate on the book, with no interruptions. This book is very important to Me, and it will be a special blessing for My children. Whatever you do, I want you to talk to Me first. Everything about this book has to be My will.'

The Lord's clear message rang in my heart as we left the pond, returned to the white building and changed into our regular clothing. Then we returned to the beach on earth, and the Lord said, 'Daughter, you see this beach is so much different from the beach you saw in My kingdom.'

'Lord, everything You showed me in Your kingdom was so beautiful, except for the sad things You showed me.'

'This is why I chose you to do this work. I do not want any of My children to have to go to the pit. It is all up to them either to believe or not to believe. I'll talk to you more about this later, My child.' He then reached over and embraced me. When He departed, the shaking of my body stopped.

The power He was unleashing in my body was beginning to heal the weak places in my character that remained from my childhood. I was learning how to be more confident, how to reach out and truly trust the Lord, but I still struggled with certain worries and fears.

On March 19 the Lord spent two hours with me, from 7 a.m. to 9 a.m. I shook for half an hour and then groaned in the Spirit for an additional fifteen minutes that morning. Then I heard the pleasant, compelling sound of the Lord's voice speaking to me. He took me by the hand and we went back to the beach.

My body underwent its supernatural transformation, and I found myself wearing a white robe like the one Jesus had on. We then ascended the mighty mountain along the narrow road. I noticed a large rock where we sat for a rest.

The length of time my earthly body had had to endure the manifestations preceding the Lord's visits was inordinately long, so I knew this visit would be a very special one. My mind raced with thoughts of anticipation and joy. What will the Lord show me today? Where will He take me?

Jesus broke my reverie by saying: 'I know you are still worried about the things I told you and showed you. I told you to stop worrying.' The tone of His voice sounded angry and severe. 'You do not trust My words.'

I knew immediately what He meant. I was still worrying about the book, even after what He had shared with me the last time. He had told me that every detail would be carefully handled by Him, but I still felt intimidated by such an important project. I was truly overwhelmed by the magnitude of the assignment.

I began to cry tears of shame and repentance at the Lord's rebuke. I put my hands together, bowed my head and began to plead, 'Please forgive me, Lord. No matter how hard I try not to worry, Lord, I still end up worrying about all this.'

'From now on, Choo Nam, I want you to stop worrying. I do not want you to worry about anything. Some people will not believe you, but you don't need to worry about that. My daughter, I am simply using you for this book. It is My book and I will take care of it.

'As I told you at the beginning, it will take a while to prepare you for this work, so do not worry. Leave everything to Me. If you worry, you are not making Me happy.'

'Lord, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me.'

'I know you do not know many things, but I see that you are pure-hearted. I know that you believe everything about Me. I've seen your obedience, and I know you fear My words.

'I want you to concentrate only on My work and nothing else. I am pleased about everything about you, My daughter. After you finish this book, I will bless you more than you ever wanted.'

'Lord, the only blessing I want is for my whole family to please You more than anything in their lives.'

'Because you are what you are, I chose you for this work. This is My book and My responsibility. I will take care of everything. Don't ever worry again. I always want you to be happy because you are My special daughter.'

'Lord, I need Roger to help me with so much of Your work.'

'Your husband is going to serve Me through you. I have many plans for both of you, so prepare your hearts to serve Me. It will all begin to happen very soon. Now I must take you back.'

We walked back down from the mountain. While we walked on the sand I felt incredibly happy. It was as if a great burden had been lifted from my shoulders. Truly the Lord had shown me many new and important things'things that brought healing and freedom to my timid soul. After the Lord left me this morning, I felt like a new person.

PUT GOD FIRST

I began to delve into the Scriptures to see what I could learn about the sin of worry. My eyes were drawn to the words of Jesus that were recorded by Matthew: 'But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things' (Matt. 6:33-34).

The context of this passage is the Sermon on the Mount, in which Jesus shares the secrets of spiritual victory with His disciples. Like me, the disciples were fretting over so many things. They worried if they would have food to eat and clothing to wear.

"Jesus reminded them: So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil or spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?"
(MATTHEW 6:28-30)

That's the key'faith! The Holy Spirit then led me to another verse of Scripture that helped clarify this for me: 'Whatever is not from faith is sin' (Rom. 14:23). That's why worry is a sin'it is not of faith. God wants us to walk by faith, and yet in His great mercy He had already shown me so much. I had seen the reality of heaven and I had walked with the Lord! Why should I ever worry again?

The season of spring began with another visit to the earthly beach. From 6:30 a.m. to 8:15 a.m. on March 22, the Lord visited with me. He took me to the beach again, and this time He seemed much quieter than He had been three days earlier. Finally, as He sat on the rock on the mountainside where we frequently sat, Jesus said: 'Don't concern yourself with testifying in church, Choo Nam; concentrate on My work.'

He knew that I was literally bursting to tell my story to everyone I saw. Even though I am a shy person, I felt I had to tell everyone what I had seen, heard and experienced. My last visit with the Lord and my subsequent study of the Word had imparted a confidence and boldness to me that I had never known before. I felt as if I could share my story with an audience of millions!

I took every opportunity I could find to testify for my Lord and Master, and I thought He would be greatly pleased by this. In fact, I had such a strong desire to speak on His behalf that I had rehearsed my testimony over and over again with the help of a tape recorder. The anointing of the Holy Spirit seemed to propel me into this kind of public ministry.

Even when I went shopping I told people about heaven. Some people reacted with surprise. Others reacted with joy and wanted to hear more. I told them to read the book when it comes out.

Some people, as I could tell by their facial reactions, didn't want to hear about my journeys to heaven, but I had learned that their doubtful responses were not important. I knew I had a story to tell, and no human reaction could keep me from sharing the excitement I had experienced.

I soon found that most Christians wanted to hear more. Many were asking, 'When will the book be finished?' Most of the people I know are believers, including the members of my extended family who all have given their support to me by saying they believe my story. As I shared my story with one nephew, he was drawn to the Lord. Now he goes to a Bible class and attends church regularly and is hungry for the Lord.

The Lord was not displeased with me, but He emphatically reiterated, 'I want you to concentrate on the book; then you will be able to satisfy many churches and reach the unsaved.'

The sound of His voice, His words, His message was a wave of joy to my spirit. I began singing in the Spirit, and I noticed that the Lord was looking at my face and smiling, and I could see the face of my transformed body smiling at the Lord the whole time I was singing.

'My daughter, I enjoy the time we spend together,' the Lord stated as He placed my right hand under His arm. He didn't talk much for a long time, but finally spoke.

'I want you to write about how you live your Christian life. It is important for others to know how you have lived your life with Me, to see how open your heart has been to Me. Your honest and obedient life is so important to Me, and I know you always put Me first in your life. When you pray, you always say you will put Me first'that I'm more important to you than anyone else or anything in the world.

'I want you to know that I've heard all your prayers even though it may seem that I have not answered each one. I know the hearts of all My children. I cannot bless anyone who does not have a sincere heart, but I do want all of My children to be blessed.'

After He left me this time I reflected on His words. He had seemed so genuinely pleased with me, and I was thrilled to hear Him say that He had heard all my prayers. He led me to an important passage in the Bible: 'Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him' (1 John 5:14-15). God hears and answers the sincere prayers of His children.

"He showed me so many rich and precious prayer promises, and I knew He wanted me to claim each one: He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation."
(PSALM 91:15-16, KJV)

"The Lord is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth."
(PSALM 145:18, KJV)

"Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not."
(JEREMIAH 33:3, KJV)

Your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.

"Matthew 6:8, kjv Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened."
(MATTHEW 7:7-8, KJV)

"And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive."
(MATTHEW 21:22, KJV)

These were just a few of the mighty prayer promises from God's Word that the Holy Spirit revealed to me. On March 23 I was praying intensely under a great anointing from the Holy Spirit. My body was shaking very hard, and groanings from deep within my spirit were coming forth with a violence I had never experienced before.

The Lord came into my room and sat by the window. Then I saw my transformed body sitting next to the Lord, and I was greatly surprised. It was as if I was having a total out-of-the-body experience'I was pure spirit. Jesus' tender voice spoke to me: 'You are living your life completely for Me. Your heart has willingly given up all worldly things for Me. I now know that nothing brings satisfaction to you more than being in My presence. Therefore, I never want you to say that you are not good enough for Me. Your faithfulness is very important to Me.'

An unusual, unearthly voice emanated from my spirit. This phenomenon usually accompanies the visions the Lord gives to me.

Then the Lord showed me His feet and hands. I could see the scars from the nails in His feet and hands. At first He sat with His legs crossed, but then He straightened His legs. I noticed that the tops of both of his feet had deep round scars on them. Then I looked at His hands'there were round, white scars very close to His wrists.

My heart ached for my Lord and Master. I touched His hands and His feet. Then I put my face on His hands and feet and began to cry in heaving sobs. I was crying like a baby as I realized all the Lord had gone through. I wondered if the whole household could hear me crying. I could see my transformed body with its face on the Lord's hands and feet, rubbing so gently'and I could tell I was crying in my transformed body. The Lord began to speak.

'When I was on this earth I lived for My Father's words, and I knew what I would have to face, but I lived for My Father's words. That's why all of heaven and earth are Mine now.

'So many of My children know what I want them to do, but they still love the things of this world more than My words. The children who live with My Word, according to My Word, are the ones who are pure of heart. They are the only ones who will enter the mansions I've prepared for them, like the one you saw with your name on the door. No one can have both this kingdom and My kingdom. If anyone enjoys the world more than Me, he or she cannot enter My kingdom.'

This was the strongest message the Lord had given to me so far. I knew I had to record it carefully and faithfully so the world would know that He wants to be first in all of our lives. He created us and died for us so we would not have to perish in hell. He continued.

'When I was in this world, I suffered until the end. I gave My life for My children. I want them to live with My Word so that they can have eternal life with Me. This worldly life can never compare with My kingdom.'

When He said these words, He sounded sad and hurt.

I'll never forget those words'and I know they are so true. This life has nothing to compare with the kingdom of God. I've seen it, and I know His kingdom is prepared for us.