Chapter 5: The Overcomers

As I continued walking away from the judgment seat I began to reflect on all that I had just experienced. It had been both terrible and wonderful. As challenging and heart rending as it had been, I felt more secure than I ever had. It was not easy at first to be stripped so bare in front of so many, unable to hide even a single thought, but when I just relaxed and accepted it, knowing that it was cleaning my very soul, it became profoundly liberating. Not having anything to hide was like taking off the heaviest yoke and shackles. I began to feel like I could breathe like I had never breathed before.

The more at ease I became, the more my mind seemed to multiply in its capacity. Then I began to sense a communication that was going on of which no human words could articulate. I thought of the apostle Paul's comments about his visit to the third Heaven where he had heard inexpressible words. There is a spiritual communication that greatly transcends any form of human communication. It is more profound and meaningful than human words are able to articulate. Somehow it is a pure communication of the heart and mind together, and it is so pure that there is no possibility of misunderstanding.

As I looked at someone in the room I began to understand what he was thinking just as he had been able to understand me. When I looked at the Lord I began to understand Him in the same way. We continued to use words, but the meaning of each one had a depth that no dictionary could have ever captured.

My mind had been freed so that its capacity was multiplied many times over. It was exhilarating beyond any previous experience.

It was also obvious that the Lord was enjoying being able to communicate this way with me as much as I was with Him. Never before had I understood so deeply what it meant for Him to be the Word of God. Jesus is the Communication of God to His creation. His words are spirit and life, and their meaning and power far exceeds our present human definitions. Human words are a very superficial form of the communication of the spirit. He made us able to communicate on a level that far transcends human words, but because of the fall, and the debacle at the Tower of Babel, we have lost this capacity. We cannot be who we were created to be until we regain this, and we can only attain it when we are freed in His presence.

I began to understand that when Adam's transgression caused him to hide from God, it was the beginning of a most terrible distortion of what man was created to be, as well as a severe reduction of his intellectual and spiritual capacities.

These could only be restored when we come out of "hiding," opening ourselves to God and to each other, becoming genuinely transparent. It is as we behold the glory of the Lord with an "unveiled face" that we are changed into His image. The veils are caused by our hiding.

When the Lord asked Adam where he was after the transgression, it was His very first question to man, and it is the first one that we must answer if we are to be fully restored to Him. Of course, the Lord knew where Adam was. The question was for Adam's sake. That question was the beginning of God's quest for man. The story of redemption is God's pursuit of man, not man's pursuit of God. When we can fully answer this question, knowing where we are in relation to God, we will have been fully restored to Him. We can only know the answer to this question when we are in His presence.

That was the essence of my entire judgment seat experience. The Lord already knew all that there was to know about me. It was all for my sake, so that I would know where I was. It was all to bring me out of hiding, to bring me out of darkness into the light.

I also began to understand just how much the Lord desired to be one with His people. Through the entire judgment He was not trying to get me to see something as good or bad as much as to see it in union with Him. The Lord was seeking me more than I was seeking Him. His judgments set me free, and His judgment of the world will set the world free.

When God's judgment day comes it will bring the final deliverance of Adam from his hiding place. This will be the final liberation of Adam, and it will also begin the final liberation of the creation which was subject to bondage because of Adam. The darkness in the world was perpetuated by the compulsion to hide that began after the fall. "Walking in the light" is more than just knowing and obeying certain truths—it is being true and it is being free from the compulsion to hide.

"Walking in the light" means no more hiding, from God or anyone else.

The nakedness of Adam and Eve before the fall was not just physical, but spiritual as well. When our salvation is complete we will know this kind of freedom again. To be completely open to others really will open our own hearts and minds to realms we do not now even know exist. This is what Satan is attempting to counterfeit through the New Age Movement.

As I walked, pondering all that I had learned, suddenly the Lord appeared by my side in the form of Wisdom again. Only He now appeared far more glorious than I had ever seen Him, even when He was on the judgment seat. I was both stunned and overjoyed.

"Lord, are you returning with me like this?" I asked.

"I will always be with you like this. However; I want to be even more to you than the way you see Me now. You have seen My kindness and My severity here, but you still do not fully know Me as the Righteous Judge. "

This surprised me since I had just spent all of this time before His judgment seat, and felt that all I had been learning was about His judgment. He paused to let this sink in, and then continued.

"There is a freedom that comes when you perceive truth, but whoever I set free is free indeed. The freedom of My presence is greater than just knowing truth. You have experienced liberation in My presence, but there is yet much more for you to understand about My judgments. When I judge I am not seeking to condemn, or to justify, but to bring forth righteousness. Righteousness is only found in union with Me. That is the righteous judgment, bringing men into unity with Me.

"My church is now clothed with shame because she does not have judges. She does not have judges because she does not know Me as the Judge. I will now raise up judges for My people who know My judgment. They will not just decide between people or issues, but to make things right, which is to bring them into agreement with Me.

"When I appeared to Joshua as the Captain of the Host, I declared that I was for neither him nor his enemies. I never come to take sides. When I come it is to take over, not to take sides. I appeared as the Captain of the Host before Israel could enter her Promised Land. The church is now about to enter her Promised Land, and I am again about to appear as the Captain of the Host. When I do I will remove all who have been forcing My people to take sides against their brothers. My justice does not take sides in human conflicts, even those of My own people. What I was doing through Israel I was doing for their enemies, too, not against them. It is only because you see from the earthly, temporal perspective that you do not see My justice. You must see My justice to walk in My authority because righteousness and justice are the foundation of My throne.

"I have imputed righteousness to the people I have chosen, but like Israel in the wilderness, even the greatest saints of the church age have only aligned themselves with My ways a small part of the time, or with a small part of their minds and hearts. I am not for them or against their enemies, but I am coming to use My people to save their enemies. I love all men, and desire for all to be saved. "

I could not help thinking of the great battle that we had fought on the mountain. We did wound many of our own brethren as we fought against the evil controlling them. There were still many of them in the camp of the enemy, either being used by him, or kept as his prisoners. I started to wonder if the next battle would be against our own brothers again. The Lord was watching me ponder all of this, and then He continued.

"Until the last battle is over, there will always be some of our brothers who are being used by the enemy. But that is not why I am telling you this now.

I am telling you this to help you see how the enemy gets into your own heart and mind, and how he uses you! Even now you still do not see everything the way that I do.

"This is common with My people. At this time, even My greatest leaders are seldom in harmony with Me. Many are doing good works, but very few are doing what I have called them to do. This is the result of divisions among you. I am not coming to take sides with any one group, but I am calling for those who will come over to My side.

"You are impressed when I give you a 'word of knowledge' about someone's physical illness, or other knowledge that is not known to you. This knowledge comes when you touch My mind to just a small degree. I know all things. If you were to fully have My mind you would be able to know everything about everyone that you encounter, just as you have begun to experience here.

You would see all men just the way that I see them. But even then there is more to fully abiding in Me. You must have My heart to know how to use such knowledge rightly. Only then will you have My judgment.

"I can only trust you with My supernatural knowledge to the degree that you know My heart. The gifts of the Spirit that I have released to My church are but small tokens of the powers of the age to come. I have called you to be messengers of that age, and you must, therefore, know its powers. You should earnestly desire the gifts because they are a part of Me, and I have given them to you so that you can be like Me. You are right to seek to know My mind, My ways and My purposes, but you must also earnestly desire to know My heart.

When you know My heart, then the eyes of your heart will be opened. Then you will see as I see, and you will do what I do.

"I am about to entrust much more of the powers of the age to come to My church. However, there is a great deception that often comes upon those who are trusted with great power, and if you do not understand what I am about to show you, you, too, will fall to this deception.

"You have asked for My grace and you shall have it. The first grace that will keep you on the path of life is to know the level of your present deception.

Deception involves anything that you do not understand as I do. Knowing the level of your present deception brings humility, and I give My grace to the humble. That is why I said, 'Who is so blind but My servant...' That is why I said to the Pharisees, 'It is for judgment that I came into the world... to give sight to those who do not see, and to make blind those who see... If you were blind you would not be guilty, but because you claim to see, your guilt remains. ' That is why, when I called My servant Paul, My light struck him blind. My light only revealed his true condition. Like him, you must be struck blind in the natural so that you can see by My Spirit."

I then felt compelled to look at those who were sitting on the thrones we were passing. As I did, my gaze fell upon a man whom I knew was the apostle Paul. As I looked back at the Lord, He motioned for me to speak to him.

"I have so looked forward to this," I said, feeling awkward but excited by this meeting. "I know that you are aware of just how much your letters have guided the church, and they are probably still accomplishing more than all of the rest of us put together. You are still one of the greatest lights on earth."

"Thank you," he said graciously. "But you do not understand just how much we have looked forward to meeting you. You are a soldier in the last battle; you are the ones whom everyone here is waiting to meet. We only saw these days dimly through our limited prophetic vision, but you have been chosen to live in them. You are a soldier preparing for the last battle. You are the ones for whom we are all waiting."

Still feeling awkward, I continued, "But there is no way that I can convey the appreciation that we feel for you, and all who helped to set our course with their lives and their writings. I also know that we will have an eternity for exchanging our appreciation, so please, while I am here, let me ask what would you say to my generation that will help us in this battle?' "

"I can only say to you know what I have already said to you through my writings. I would have you to understand them better by knowing that I fell short of all that I was called to do," Paul stated, looking me resolutely in the eyes.

"But you are here, in one of the greatest thrones. You are still reaping more fruit for eternal life than any of us could ever hope to reap," I protested.

"By the grace of God I was able to finish my course, but I still did not walk in all that I was called to. I fell short of the highest purposes that I could have walked in. Everyone has. I know that some think that it is blasphemy to think of me as anything less than the greatest example of Christian ministry, but I was being honest when I wrote near the end of my life that I was the greatest of sinners. I was not saying that I had been the greatest of sinners, but that I was the greatest of sinners then. I had been given so much to understand, and I walked in so little of it."

"How could that possibly be? I thought you were just being humble," I asked.

"True humility is agreement with the truth. Do not fear. My letters were true, and they were written by the anointing of the Holy Spirit. However, I was given so much, and I did not use all that I was given. I, too, fell short. Everyone here has fallen short, except One. But you must especially see this about me, because many are still distorting my teachings because they have a distorted view of me."

"As you saw the progression in my letters, I went from feeling that I was not inferior to even the most imminent apostles, acknowledging that I was the least of the apostles, then the least of the saints, to finally realizing that I was the greatest of sinners. I was not just being humble, I was speaking sober truth. I was trusted with much, much more than I used. There is only One here who fully believed, who fully obeyed, and who truly finished all that He was given to do, but you can walk in much more than I did."

My reply was feeble, "I know that what you are saying is true, but are you sure that this is the most important message that you would give to us for the last battle?"

"I am sure," he replied with utter conviction. "I so appreciate the grace of the Lord to use my letters as He has. But I am concerned with the way many of you are using them wrongly. They are the truth of the Holy Spirit, and they are Scripture. The Lord did give me great stones to set into the structure of His eternal church, but they are not foundation stones. The foundation stones were laid by Jesus, alone. My life and ministry are not the example of what you are called to be. Jesus alone is that. If what I have written is used as a foundation, it will not be able to hold the weight of that which needs to be built upon it. What I have written must be built upon the only Foundation that can withstand what you are about to endure; it must not be used as the foundation. You must see my teachings through the Lord's teachings, not try to understand Him from my perspective. His words are the foundation. I have only built upon them by elaborating on His words. The greatest wisdom, and the most powerful truths, are His words, not mine."

"You must also know that I did not walk in all that was available to me.

There is much more available for every believer to walk in than I did. Every true believer has the Holy Spirit in them. The power of the One who created all things lives within them. The least of the saints has the power in them to move mountains, to stop armies, or to raise the dead. If you are to accomplish all that you are called to in your day, my ministry must not be viewed as the ultimate, but as a starting place. Your goal must not be to be like me, but to be like the Lord. You can be like Him, and you can do everything that He did, and even more, because He saved His best wine for last."

I knew that only truth could be spoken here. I knew that what Paul was saying was true about the way many had been wrongly using his teachings as a foundation, rather than building upon the foundation of the gospels, but it was still hard for me to accept that Paul had fallen short of his calling. I looked at Paul's throne and the glory of his being. It was much more than I dreamed the greatest saints in Heaven would have. He was every bit as forthright and resolute as I had expected him to be. It struck me how obvious it was that he still carried his great concern for all of the churches. I had idolized him, and that was a transgression that he was trying to set me free from. Even so, he was much greater than the Paul I had idolized. Knowing what I was thinking, he put both hands on my shoulders and looked me even more resolutely straight in the eyes.

"I am your brother. I love you as everyone here does. But you must understand. Our course is now finished. We can neither add to or take away from what we planted in the earth, but you can. We are not your hope. You are now our hope. Even in this conversation I can only confirm what I have already written, but you still have much writing to do. Worship only God, and grow up in all things into Him. Never make any man your goal, but only Him. Many will soon walk the earth who will do much greater works than we did. The first shall be last, and the last, first. We do not mind this. It is the joy of our hearts because we are one with you. My generation was used to lay and begin building upon the foundation, and we will always have the honor of that. But every floor built upon the foundation should go higher. We will not be the building we are supposed to be unless you go higher."

As I pondered this he watched me closely. Then he continued, "There are two more things that we attained in our time, that were lost very quickly by the church, and they have not yet been recovered. You must recover them."

"What are they?" I inquired, feeling that what he was about to say was more than just an addendum to what he had already said.

"You must recover the ministry, and the message," he said emphatically.

I looked at the Lord, and He nodded His affirmation, adding, "It is right that Paul should say this to you. Until this time he has been the most faithful with both of these."

"Please explain," I implored Paul.

"All right," he replied. "Except for a few small places in the world where there is great persecution or difficulties now, we can hardly recognize either the ministry or the message that is being preached today. Therefore, the church is now but a phantom of what it was even in our time, and we were far from all that we were called to be. When we served, being in ministry was the greatest sacrifice that one could make, and this reflected the message of the greatest sacrifice that was made—the cross. The cross is the power of God, and it is the center of all that we are called to live by. You have so little power to transform the minds and hearts of the disciples now because you do not live, and do not preach, the cross. Therefore, we have difficulty seeing much difference between the disciples and the heathen. That is not the gospel or the salvation with which we were entrusted. You must return to the cross."

With those words he squeezed my shoulders like a father, and then returned to his seat. I felt like I had received both an incredible blessing and a profound rebuke. As I walked away I began thinking of the level of salvation on the mountain, and the treasures of salvation that I had seen inside the mountain. I began to see that most of my own decisions, even the decision to enter the door that led me here, was based mostly on what would get me further, not on a consideration for the will of the Lord. In all that I had done I was still living for myself, and not for Him. Even in my desire to embrace the judgments here, I was motivated by what would help me to make it back in victory without suffering loss. I was still walking much more in self-centeredness than Christ - centeredness.

I knew that the short talk with Paul would have consequences that would take a long time to fully understand. In a way I felt that I had received a blessing from the entire, eternal church. The great cloud of witnesses really were cheering us on. They looked at us like proud parents who wanted better things for their children than they had known. Their greatest joy would be to see the church in the last days become everything that the church in their day had failed to attain. I also knew that I was still falling far short of what they had prepared for us to walk in.

"The last day church will not be greater than their generation, even if you do greater works, " the Lord interjected. 'All that is done is done by My grace.

However, I will make more of My grace, and more of My power available to the last day church, because she must accomplish more than the church in any age has yet accomplished. The last day believers will walk in all of the power that I demonstrated, and more, because they will be the final representatives of all who have gone before them. The last day church will demonstrate My nature and My ways as they have never been demonstrated before by men. It is because I am giving you more grace, and to whom much is given much will be required. "

This just made me think even more about Paul. "How would we even become as dedicated and faithful as he had been?" I thought to myself.

"I am not asking you to attain that, " the Lord answered. "I am asking you to abide in Me. You cannot continue to measure yourself by others, even Paul. You will always fall short of the one you look to, but you are looking to Me you will go far beyond what you would have otherwise accomplished. As you yourself have taught, it was when the two on the road to Emmaus saw Me break the bread that their eyes were opened. When you read Paul's letters, or anyone's, you must hear Me. Only when you receive your bread directly from Me will the eyes of your heart be opened.

"You can be distracted the most by those who are the most like Me if you do not see through them to see Me. There is also another trap for those who come to know more of My anointing and power than others. They are often distracted by looking at themselves. As I was saying before you talked to Paul, My servants must become blind so that they can see. I let you talk to him then because he is one of My best examples of this. It was because of My grace that I allowed him to persecute My church. When he saw My light he understood that his own reasoning had led him into direct conflict with the very truth he claimed to be serving. Your reasoning will always do that. It will lead you to do that which is exactly contrary to My will. Greater anointing brings greater danger of this happening to you, if you do not learn what Paul did. If you do not take up your cross every day, putting all that you are and all that you have before it, you will fall because of the authority and power that I will give you. Until you learn to do all things for the sake of the gospel, the more influence that you have, the greater the danger that you will be in.

"One of the greatest deceptions that comes upon My anointed ones is that they begin to think that because I give them a little supernatural knowledge or power, that their ways must therefore be My ways, and that everything that they think is what I think. This is a great deception, and many have stumbled because of it. You think like Me when you are in perfect union with Me. Even with the most anointed who have yet walked the earth, even for Paul, this union has only been partial, and for brief periods of time.

"Paul did walk with Me as close as any man ever has yet. Even so, he was also beset by fears and weaknesses that were not from Me. I could have delivered him from these, and he did request it several times, but I had a reason for not delivering him. Paul's great wisdom was to embrace his weaknesses, understanding that if I had delivered him from them I would not have been able to trust him with the level of revelation and power that I did. Paul learned to distinguish between his own weaknesses and the revelation of the Spirit. He knew that when he was beset with weakness, or fears, that he was not seeing from My perspective, but from his own. This caused Him to seek Me, and to depend on Me, even more. He was also careful not to attribute to Me that which arose from His own heart. Therefore I could trust him with revelations that I could not trust others with. Paul knew his own weaknesses, and he knew My anointing, and he distinguished between them. He did not confuse what came from his own mind and heart with My mind and heart. "

I began to think about how clear all of this was here, but how very often, even after I have had a great experience like this, I still forget it so easily. It is easy to understand and to walk in the light here, but back in the battle it becomes cloudy again. I thought about how I was not so beset with fears as much as with impatience, and anger, which was just as much a distortion of the perspective that we should have by abiding in the Holy Spirit.

Wisdom stopped and turned to me. "You are an earthen vessel, and that is all that you will be while you walk the earth. However, you can see Me just as clearly there as you do here, if you will look with the eyes of your heart. You can be just as close to Me there as anyone has ever been to Me, and even more so. I have made the way for everyone to be as close to Me as they truly desire to be. If you really desire to be even closer to Me than Paul was, you can. Some will want this, and they will want it badly enough to lay aside anything that hinders their intimacy with Me to give themselves fully to it, and they will have what they seek.

"If it is your quest to walk there just as you can walk with Me here, I will be just as close to you there as I am now. If you seek Me you will find Me. If you draw near to Me, I will draw near to you. It is My desire to set a table for you right in the midst of your enemies. This is not just My desire for My leaders, but for all who call upon My name. I want to be much closer to you, and to everyone who calls upon Me, than I have yet been able to be with anyone who has lived. You determine how close we will be, not I. I will be found by those who seek Me.

"You are here because you asked for My judgment in your life. You sought Me as the Judge and now you are finding Me. But you must not think that because you have seen My judgment seat that now all of your judgments will be My judgments. You will only have My judgments as you walk in unity with Me, and seek the anointing of My Spirit. This can be gained or lost every day.

"I have let you see angels, and given you many dreams and visions, because you kept asking for them. I love to give My children the good gifts that they ask for. For years you asked Me for wisdom, so you are receiving it. You have asked for Me to judge you, so you are receiving it. But these experiences do not make you fully wise, or a righteous judge. You will only have wisdom and judgment as you abide in Me. Do not ever stop seeking Me. The more you truly mature the more you will know your desperate need for Me. The more you mature, the less you will seek to hide, from Me or others, so that you can always walk in the light.

"You have seen Me as Savior, Lord, Wisdom, and Judge. When you return to the battle, you can still see My judgment seat with the eyes of your heart. When you walk in the truth of knowing that all that you think and do are fully revealed here, you will have the freedom to live there just as you do here. It is only when you hide, from Me or others, that the veils return to hide Me from you. I am Truth, and those who worship Me must do so in Spirit and Truth.

Truth is never found hiding in the darkness, but always seeks to remain in the light. Light exposes and makes manifest. Only when you seek to be exposed, and allow who you are in your heart to be exposed, will you walk in the light as I am in the light. True fellowship with Me requires complete exposure. True fellowship with My people requires the same.

"When you stood before the judgment seat you felt more freedom and security than you have ever felt because you did not have to hide anymore. You felt more security because you knew that My judgments were true and righteous.

The moral and spiritual order of My universe is just as sure as the natural order established upon the natural laws. You trust My law of gravity without even thinking about it. You must learn to trust My judgments in the same way. My standards of righteousness are unchanging, and are just as sure. To live by this truth is to walk in faith. True faith is to have confidence in who I am.

"You seek to know and walk in My power so that you can heal the sick and perform miracles, but you have not even begun to comprehend the power of My word. To restore all of the dead who have ever lived on the earth will not even cause Me to strain. I uphold all things by the power of My word. The creation exists because of My word, and it is held together by My word.

"Before the end, I must reveal My power on earth. Even so, the greatest power that I have ever revealed on the earth, or ever will, is still a very small demonstration of My power. I do not reveal My power to get men to believe in My power, but to get men to believe in My love. If I had wanted to save the world with My power when I walked the earth, I could have moved mountains by pointing a finger. Then all men would have bowed to Me, but not because they loved Me, or loved the truth, but because they feared My power. I do not want men to obey Me because they fear My power, but because they love Me, and they love the truth.

"If you do not know My love, then My power will corrupt you. I do not give you love so that you can know My power, but I give you power so that you can know My love. The goal of your life must be love, not power. Then I will give you power to love with. I will give you the power to heal the sick because you love them, and I love them, and I do not want them sick.

"So you must seek love first, and then faith. You cannot please Me without faith. But faith is not just the knowledge of My power, but the knowledge of My love and the power of My love. Faith must first be for love.

Seek faith to love more, and to do more with your love. Only when you seek faith to love can I trust you with My power. Faith works by love.

"My word is the power that upholds all things. To the degree that you believe that My word is true you can do all things. Those who really believe that My words are true, will also be true to their own words. It is My nature to be true, and the creation trusts My word because I am faithful to it. Those who are like Me are also true to their own words. Their word is sure, and their commitments are trustworthy. Their 'yes' means 'yes, ' and their 'no' means 'no. ' If your own words are not true you will also begin to doubt My words, because deception is in your heart. If you are not faithful to your own words it is because you do not really know Me. To have faith, you must be faithful. I have called you to walk by faith because I am faithful. It is My nature.

"That is why you will be judged because of the careless words that you speak. To be careless is to care less. Words have power, and those careless with words cannot be trusted with the power of My word. It is wisdom to be careful with your words, and to keep them as I do Mine. "

"The Lord's words were rolling over me like great waves from the sea. I felt like Job before the whirlwind. I thought that I was getting smaller and smaller and then realized that He was getting larger. I had never felt so presumptuous. How could I have been so casual with God? I felt like an ant staring up at a mountain range. I was less than dust, yet He was taking the time to speak to me. I could not stand any more, and turned away.

After a few moments I felt a reassuring hand on my shoulder. It was Wisdom. His glory was even greater now, but He was again my size. "Do you understand what happened just then?" He asked.

Knowing very well that when the Lord asks a question He is not seeking information, I began to ponder it. I knew that it was reality. Compared to Him I am less than a speck of dust would be to the earth, and for some reason He wanted me to experience it. Answering my thoughts, He elaborated.

"What you are thinking is true, but this comparison of man to God is not just in size. You began to experience the power of My words. To be entrusted with My words is to be entrusted with the power by which the universe is held together. I did not do this to make you feel small, but to help you to understand the seriousness and the power of that with which you have been entrusted—the word of God. In all of your endeavors, remember that the importance of a single word from God to man is of more value than all of the treasures on earth. You must understand and teach My brethren to respect the value of My word. As those who are called to carry My words, you must also respect the value of your own words. Those who will carry the truth must be true. "

As I was listening I felt compelled to look up toward one of the thrones beside us. Immediately I saw a man that I recognized. He had been a great evangelist when I was a child, and many felt that he had walked in more power than anyone since the early church. I had read about him, and listened to some of his recorded messages. It was hard not to be touched by his genuine humility, and the obvious love he had for the Lord and people. Even so, I also felt that some of his teachings had gone seriously awry. I was surprised, but also relieved to see him sitting on a great throne. I was captured by the humility and love that still exuded from him.

As I turned to the Lord to ask if I could talk to him, I could see how much the Lord obviously loved this man. However, the Lord would not permit me to speak with him, but motioned for me to continue walking.

"I just wanted you to see him here, " the Lord explained, "and understand the position that he has with Me. There is much for you to understand about him.

He was a messenger to My last day church, but the church could not hear him for reasons that you must understand in due time. He did fall into discouragement and delusion for a time, and his message was distorted. It must be recovered, as well as the parts that I have given to others which were also distorted. "

I knew that everything here happened in perfect timing with all that I was meant to learn, and began to think about how seeing this man must be related to what we had just talked about—the potential of power to corrupt.

"Yes. There is a great danger in walking in great power, " the Lord responded. "It has happened to many of My messengers, and that is part of the message they are to give to My last day church. You must walk in My power, and even much greater power than these experienced, but if you ever start to think that the power is My endorsing you, or even your message, you will open the door to the same delusion. The Holy Spirit is given to testify only of Me. If you are wise, like Paul, you will learn to glory more in your weaknesses than in your strengths.

"True faith is the true recognition of who I am. It is nothing more and nothing less. But you must always remember, even if you abide in My presence, even if you see Me as I am, you can still fall if you turn from Me to look back at yourself That is how Lucifer fell.

He dwelt in this room. He beheld My glory and the glory of My Father.

However, he began to look at himself more than he looked to us. He then began to take pride in his position and power. This has also happened to many of My servants who were allowed to see My glory, and who were trusted with power. If you begin to think that it is because of your wisdom, your righteousness, or even your devotion to pure doctrine, you will stumble. "

I knew that this was as severe a warning as anything that I had received or had been told here. I wanted to go back and fight in the last battle, but I was having serious questions about being able to do so without falling into the traps that now seemed to be everywhere. I looked back at the Lord. He was Wisdom and I thought of how badly I needed to know Him as Wisdom when I returned.

"It is good for you to lose confidence in yourself I cannot trust you with the powers of the age to come until you do. The more confidence you lose in yourself the more power I will be able to trust you with, if I waited a long time for the Lord to continue, but He didn't. Somehow I knew that He wanted me to continue the sentence, but I did not know what to say. However, the more I looked at Him the more confidence I felt. Finally I did know what to say.

"If I put my confidence in you," I added.

"Yes. You must have faith to do what you are called to do, but it must be faith in Me. It is not enough for you to just lose confidence in yourself That only leads to insecurity if you do not fill the void with confidence in Me. That is how many of these men fell to their delusions. Many of these men and women were prophets. But some of them, out of insecurity, would not let men call them prophets. But that was not the truth because they were. False humility is also a deception. If the enemy could deceive them into thinking that they were not really prophets, he could also deceive them into thinking that they were greater prophets than they were just by nurturing their self-confidence. False humility will not cast out pride. It is just another form of self-centeredness, which the enemy has a right to exploit.

"All of your failures will be the result of one this thing, self-centeredness.

The only way to be delivered from this is to walk in love. Love does not seek its own. "

As I was thinking about all of this a wonderful clarity began to come. I could see the whole experience from beginning to end, having as its focus this single, simple message. "How easily I am beguiled from the simplicity of devotion to You," I lamented.

The Lord then stopped and looked at me with an expression I pray that I will never forget. He smiled. I did not want to abuse this opportunity, but I somehow felt that when He smiled like that I could ask Him anything and He would give it to me, so I took the chance.

"Lord, when you said, 'Let there be light,' there was light. You prayed in John 17 that we would love you with the same love that the Father loved you with. Will you please say to me now, 'Let there be love in you,' so that I will love you with the Father's love?"

He did not quit smiling, but rather put His arm around me like a friend. "I said that to you before the creation of the world when I called you. I have also said it to your brethren who will fight with you in the last battle. You will know My Father's love for Me! It is a perfect love that will cast out all of your fears.

This love will enable you to believe Me so that you can do the works that I did, and even greater works, because I am with My Father, and you will know His love for Me, and the works you will be given to do will glorify Me. Now, for your sake, I say again, 'let there be My Father's love in you. ' "

I was overwhelmed with appreciation for this whole experience. "I love your judgments," I said as I started to turn and look back at the judgment seat, but the Lord stopped me.

"Don't look back. I am not there for you now; I am here. I will lead you from this room and back to your place in the battle, but you must not look back.

You must see My judgment seat in your own heart, because that is where it is now. "

"Just like the Garden, and like the treasures of salvation..." I thought to myself.

"Yes. Everything that I am doing, I am doing in your heart. That is where the living waters flow. That is where I am. "

He then gestured toward me, so I looked at myself, pulling back the cloak of humility. I was stunned by what I saw. My armor contained the same glory that surrounded Him. I quickly covered it again with my cloak.

"I also prayed to My Father on the night before My crucifixion, that the glory I had with Him in the beginning would be with My people, so that you will be one. It is My glory that unifies. As you come together with others who love Me, My glory will be magnified. The more that My glory is magnified by the joining of those who love Me, the more the world will know that I was sent by the Father. Now the world really will know that you are My disciples because you will love Me, and you will love each other. "

As I kept looking at Him, my confidence continued to grow. It was like being washed on the inside. Soon I was feeling ready to do anything He asked.

"There is still someone who you must meet before you return to the battle," He said as we walked. As we did, I continued to be astonished by how much more glorious He had become than even a few minutes before.

"Every time you see Me with the eyes of your heart, your mind is renewed a little bit more, " He proceeded. "One day you will be able to abide in My presence continually. When you do that all that, you have learned by My Spirit will be readily available to you, and I will be available to you. "

I could hear everything He said, and understood it, but I was so captured by His glory that I Just had to ask Him, "Lord, why are you so much more glorious now than the other times when You first appeared to me as Wisdom?"

"I have never changed, but you have. You are changed as you behold My glory with an unveiled face. The experiences that you have had are removing the veils from your face so that you can see Me more clearly, but nothing removes them as quickly as when you behold My love. "

He then stopped and I turned to look at those in the thrones next to us.

We were still in the place where the very highest kings were sitting. Then I recognized a man who was close by.

"Sir, I know you from somewhere, but I Just cannot remember where."

"You once saw me in a vision," he replied.

I immediately remembered, and was shocked! "So you were a real person?"

"Yes," he replied.

I then began to remember the day when, as a young Christian I had become frustrated with some issues in my life. I went out into the middle of a battlefield park near my apartment and determined to wait until the Lord spoke to me. As I sat reading my Bible I was caught up into a vision, one of the first that I ever had.

In the vision I saw a man who was zealously serving the Lord. He was continually witnessing to people, teaching, and visiting the sick to pray for them.

He was very zealous for the Lord, and had a genuine love for people. Then I saw another man who was obviously a tramp or a homeless man. A small kitten wandered into his path and he started to kick it, but restrained himself, but still shoved it rather harshly out of the way with his foot. Then the Lord asked me which of these men pleased Him the most.

"The first," I said without hesitating.

"No, the second," He responded, and began to tell me their stories.

The first man had been raised in a wonderful family, which had always known the Lord. He grew up in a thriving church, and then attended one of the best Bible colleges. He had been given one hundred portions of His love, but he was using only seventy-five.

The second man had been born deaf. He was abused and kept in a dark, cold attic until he was found by the authorities when he was eight years old. He had then been shifted from one institution to another where the abuse continued.

Finally he was turned out on the streets. To overcome all of this the Lord had only given him three portions of His love, but he had mustered every bit of it to fight the rage in his heart to keep from hurting the kitten.

I now looked at that man, a king sitting on a throne far more glorious than Solomon could have even imagined. Hosts of angels were arrayed about him, waiting to do his bidding. I turned to the Lord in awe. I still just could not believe he was real, much less one of the great kings.

"Lord, please tell me the rest of His story," I begged.

"Of course, that is why we are here. Angelo was so faithful with the little that I had given to him, I gave him three more portions of My love. He used all of that to quit stealing. He almost starved, but he refused to take anything that was not his. He bought his food with what he could make collecting bottles, and occasionally finding someone who would let him do yard work. He could not hear but he had learned to read, so I sent him a gospel tract. As he read it the Spirit opened his heart, and he gave his life to Me. I again doubled the portions of My love to Him and he faithfully used all of them. He wanted to share Me with others, but he could not speak. Even though he lived in such poverty, he started spending over half of everything he made on gospel tracts to give out on street corners. "

"How many did he lead to you?" I asked, thinking that it must have been multitudes for him to be sitting with the kings.

"One," the Lord answered. "I let him lead a dying alcoholic to Me to encourage him. It encouraged him so much he would have stood on that corner for many more years just to bring another soul to repentance. But all of Heaven was entreating Me to bring him here, and I, too, wanted him to receive his reward. "

"But what did he do to become a king?" I asked.

"He was faithful with all that he was given, he overcame all until he became like me, and he died a martyr. "

"But what did he overcome, and how was he martyred?"

"He overcame the world with My love. Very few have overcome so much with so little. Many of My people dwell in homes that kings would have envied just a century ago because of their conveniences, but do not appreciate them, while Angelo would so appreciate a cardboard box on a cold night that he would turn it into a glorious temple of My presence. He began to love everyone and everything. He would rejoice more over an apple than some of My people do over a great feast. He was faithful with all that I gave him, even though it was not very much compared to what I gave others, including you. I showed him to you in a vision because you passed by him many times. You even once pointed him out to one of your friends and spoke of him. "

"I did? What did I say?"

"You said, 'There is another one of those Elijah's who must have escaped from the bus station.' You said that he was 'a religious nut' who was sent by the enemy to turn people off to the gospel. "

This was the worst blow that I had yet suffered in this experience. I was more than shocked, I was appalled. I tried to remember the specific incident, but couldn't, simply because there were so many others like it. I had never had much compassion for filthy street preachers who seemed to me that they were specifically sent to turn people off to the gospel.

"I'm sorry Lord. I'm really sorry." 'And you are forgiven, " He quickly responded. 'And you are right. There are many who try to preach the gospel on the streets for wrong, and even perverted reasons. Even so, there are many who are sincere, even if they are untrained and unlearned. You must not judge by appearances. There are as many true servants who look like he did as there are among the polished professionals in the great cathedrals and organizations that men have built in My Name. "

He then motioned for me to look up at Angelo. When I turned he had descended the steps to his throne and was right in front of me. Opening his arms he gave me a great hug, and kissed my forehead like a father. Love poured over me and through me until I felt that it would overload my nervous system. When he finally released me I was staggering as if I were drunk, but it was a wonderful feeling. It was love like I had never felt it.

"He could have imparted that to you on earth, " the Lord continued. "He had much to give to My people, but they would not come near him. Even My prophets avoided him. He grew in the faith by buying a Bible and a couple of books that he read over and over. He tried to go to churches but he could not find one that would receive him. If they would have taken him in they would have taken Me in. He was My knock upon their door. "

I was learning a new definition of grief. "How did he die?" I asked, remembering that he had been martyred, half expecting that I was somehow even responsible for it.

"He froze to death trying to keep an old wino alive who had passed out in the cold."

As I looked at Angelo I just could not believe how hard my heart was.

Even so, I did not understand how this made him a martyr, which I had thought was a title reserved for those who died because they would not compromise their testimony.

"Lord, I know that he is truly an overcomer," I remarked. "And, it is so just for him to be here. But are those who die that way also considered martyrs?"

"Angelo was a martyr every day that he lived. He would only do enough for himself to stay alive, and he gladly sacrificed his life to save a needy friend.

As Paul wrote to the Corinthians, even if you give your body to be burned, but do not have love, it counts as nothing. But, when you give yourself with love, it counts for much. Angelo died every day because he did not live for himself; but for others. While on earth he always considered himself the least of the saints, but he was one of the greatest. As you have already learned, many of those who consider themselves the greatest, and are considered by others to be the greatest, end up being the least here. Angelo did not die for a doctrine, or even his testimony, but he did die for Me. "

"Lord, please help me to remember this. Please do not let me forget what I am seeing here when I return," I begged.

"That is why I am with you here, and I will be with you when you return.

Wisdom is to see with My eyes, and not to judge by appearances. I showed you Angelo in the vision so that you would recognize him when you passed him on the street. If you had shared with him the knowledge of his past that I had shown you in the vision, he would have given his life to me then. You could have then discipled this great king, and he would have had a great impact on My church. If My people would look at others the way I do, Angelo and many others like him, would have been recognized. They would have been paraded into the greatest pulpits, and My people would have come from the ends of the earth to sit at their feet, because by doing this they would have sat at My feet. He would have taught you to love, and how to invest the gifts that I have given you so that you could bear much more fruit. "

I was so ashamed that I did not want to even look at the Lord, but finally I turned back to Him as I felt the pain driving me toward self-centeredness again.

When I looked at Him I was virtually blinded by His glory. It took a while, but gradually my eyes adjusted so that I could see Him.

"Remember that you are forgiven," He said. "I am not showing you these things to condemn you, but to teach you. Always remember that compassion will remove the veils from your soul faster than anything else. "

As we began to walk again, Angelo spoke for the first time, "Please remember my friends, the homeless. Many will love our Savior if someone will go to them."

His words had such power in them that I was too moved to answer, so I just nodded. I knew that those words were the decree of a great king, and a great friend of the King of kings. "Lord, will you help me to help the homeless?"

"I will help any who help them, " He responded. "When you love those whom I love you will always know My help. They will be given the Helper by the measure of their love. You have asked many times for more of My anointing; that is how you will receive it. Love those whom I love. As you love them you love Me. As you give to them you have given to Me, and I will give more to you in return. "

My mind drifted to my nice home and all of the other possessions I had. I was not wealthy, but by earthly standards I knew that I did live much better than kings had just a century before. I had never felt guilty about it before, but I did now. Somehow it was a good feeling, but at the same time it did not feel right.

Again I looked back to the Lord as I knew He would help me.

"Remember what I said about how My perfect law of love made light and darkness distinct. When confusion such as you are now feeling comes, you know that what you are experiencing is not My perfect law of love. I delight in giving My family good gifts, just as you do yours. I want you to enjoy them, and appreciate them. Only you must not worship them, and you must freely share them when I call you to. I could wave My hand and instantly remove all poverty from the earth. There will be a day of reckoning when the mountains and high places are brought down, and the poor and oppressed are raised up, but I must do it. Human compassion is just as contrary to Me as human oppression. Human compassion is used as a substitute for the power of My cross. I have not called you to sacrifice, but to obey. Sometimes you will have to sacrifice to obey Me, but if your sacrifice is not done in obedience, it will separate us.

"You are guilty for the way you misjudged and treated this great king when he was My servant on earth. Do not judge anyone without inquiring of Me.

You have missed more encounters that I have set up for you than you have ever imagined, simply because you were not sensitive to Me. However, I did not show you this to just make you feel guilty, but to bring you to repentance so that you will not continue to miss them. If you just react in guilt you will begin to do things to compensate for your guilt, which is an affront to My cross. My cross alone can remove your guilt, and because I went to the cross to remove your guilt, whatever is done in guilt is not done for me.

"I do not enjoy seeing men suffer, " Wisdom continued. "But human compassion will not lead them to the cross which alone can relieve their real suffering. You missed Angelo because you were not walking in compassion.

You will have more when you return, but your compassion must still be subject to My Spirit. Even I did not heal all those for whom I had compassion, but I only did what I saw My Father doing. You must not just do things out of compassion, but in obedience to My Spirit. Only then will your compassion have the power of redemption.

"I have trusted you with the gifts of My Spirit. You have known My anointing in your preaching and writing, but you have known it much less than you realize. Rarely do you really see with My eyes, or hear with My ears, or understand with My heart. Without Me you can do nothing that will benefit My kingdom or promote My gospel. You have fought in My battles, and you have even seen the top of My mountain. You have learned to shoot arrows of truth and hit the enemy. You have learned a little about using My sword. But love is My greatest weapon. Love will never fail. Love will be the power that destroys the works of the devil. And love will be what brings My kingdom. Love is the banner over My army. Under this banner you must now fight. "

With this we turned into a corridor and were no longer in the great hall of judgment. The glory of Wisdom was all around me, but I could no longer see Him distinctly. Suddenly I came to a door. I turned because I did not want to leave, but I immediately knew that I had to. This was the door that Wisdom had led me to. I had to go through it.

To be continued...